My ADHC Friends

When I think about my decision, to study Clinical psychology, I immediately go to the intense feeling I recently experience, when I feel that a participant at (Adult Healthcare center) feels heard and accepted.  In the mornings, I make a point, to make sure that I connect to most of my seniors before I reach the stairs at the end the hall. Most of the participants are Persian, and migrated from Iran when they were well in to their 50's or 60's if not older. Trying to survive, a regime change wasn't easy, but most did that with no vain.  Most have endured so much pain and suffering, as people who underwent poverty, witnessed war, and fled their home land, leaving behind their identities and status. They have done, all of this only for the well-being of their children. Time after time it breaks my heart to hear stories of these kind and loving individuals that are overlooked by their children. Many feel, as if they are a burden to their children and literally pray that death comes for them as soon as possible. As far as I can remember, in those days, the elderly had something that is missing for some today; they had the care and love of their family. Families took the time, in their busy schedules to look after one another, family members lived close to each other and gave support when it was needed .Neighbors, helped if necessary, and as to my memory, older people were not generally seen as a burden but were recognized and respected as the leader of their family. Sadly, in some families, this is no longer the case. Today, far too many of our elderly are sent to residential care, or are hired caregivers, where they live out their final days all but forgotten by their family. By this I don’t mean, that residential care or a caretaker is a bad idea, for many this works as a means to keep their elderly parents safe and cared for. , but  being forgotten and ignored because you no longer have the time,  is rather painful for many to seniors to handle .Most, grieve that they have given all assets to their children or lost it all while migrating, as though the amount of money, defines them as individuals and their place in society.

During the last eight months, I am convinced that success in caring for our elderly can be achieved only by encouraging all of us to support them, where they are the happiest. Many believe that once someone gets older they lose the right to choose what’s best for them. Listen to the elderly in your life and allow them to pass on their wisdom to you. In the last, months I have realized how important it is for the elderly to interact socially and feel that they are important. Many find themselves increasingly isolated as partners die, and children and grandchildren live farther and farther away. One might assume they are not alone, because they are surrounded by fellow participants and mingle with them. In truth many of these individuals long for the friends they have left behind and feel abandoned by their families. We need to try to re-establish the communities we once took for granted, where families, together cared for the loved ones.

That is why we must look back , not with rose-tinted spectacles, but with hope and realism , and learn from the days when the elderly were given the respect and love they deserved, and were never considered a burden.