When I think about my decision, to study Clinical
psychology, I immediately go to the intense feeling I recently experience, when
I feel that a participant at (Adult Healthcare center) feels heard and
accepted. In the mornings, I make a
point, to make sure that I connect to most of my seniors before I reach the
stairs at the end the hall. Most of the participants are Persian, and migrated
from Iran when they were well in to their 50's or 60's if not older. Trying to
survive, a regime change wasn't easy, but most did that with no vain. Most have endured so much pain and suffering,
as people who underwent poverty, witnessed war, and fled their home land,
leaving behind their identities and status. They have done, all of this only
for the well-being of their children. Time after time it breaks my heart to
hear stories of these kind and loving individuals that are overlooked by their
children. Many feel, as if they are a burden to their children and literally
pray that death comes for them as soon as possible. As far as I can remember,
in those days, the elderly had something that is missing for some today; they
had the care and love of their family. Families took the time, in their busy
schedules to look after one another, family members lived close to each other
and gave support when it was needed .Neighbors, helped if necessary, and as to
my memory, older people were not generally seen as a burden but were recognized
and respected as the leader of their family. Sadly, in some families, this is
no longer the case. Today, far too many of our elderly are sent to residential
care, or are hired caregivers, where they live out their final days all but
forgotten by their family. By this I don’t mean, that residential care or a
caretaker is a bad idea, for many this works as a means to keep their elderly
parents safe and cared for. , but being forgotten
and ignored because you no longer have the time, is rather painful for many to seniors to
handle .Most, grieve that they have given all assets to their children or lost
it all while migrating, as though the amount of money, defines them as
individuals and their place in society.
During the last eight months, I am convinced that success in
caring for our elderly can be achieved only by encouraging all of us to support
them, where they are the happiest. Many believe that once someone gets older
they lose the right to choose what’s best for them. Listen to the elderly in
your life and allow them to pass on their wisdom to you. In the last, months I
have realized how important it is for the elderly to interact socially and feel
that they are important. Many find themselves increasingly isolated as partners
die, and children and grandchildren live farther and farther away. One might
assume they are not alone, because they are surrounded by fellow participants
and mingle with them. In truth many of these individuals long for the friends
they have left behind and feel abandoned by their families. We need to try to
re-establish the communities we once took for granted, where families, together
cared for the loved ones.
That is why we must look back , not with rose-tinted spectacles,
but with hope and realism , and learn from the days when the elderly were given
the respect and love they deserved, and were never considered a burden.
