Depression

Who does depression affect? Everyone
Where does depression affect you? Every Where
How does depression affect you? Every way
How many times, have we heard of all the implications of an individual being depressed and wondered what it’s like for them and their loved ones.  I am sure you’ve heard of this commercial over and over again, but it’s rather significant to know that depression doesn’t always only affect the person, whom is suffering from the disease. Depression is not just a medical matter. It's a family one, too. The behaviors and mood of a depressed person affect the whole family. There's the irritability, which sets off conflicts and disrupts family dynamics. The negative thought patterns, becomes a never ending cycle of nonconstructive for everyone and can damage years of meaningful relationships. This in turn creates withdrawal within relationships and generates complete feelings of rejection. There are major responsibilities that get misplaced by the depression of a loved one. There is a general burden of stress, and self care. Frustration for families dealing with a depressed member comes from many sources. One source is the feeling of helplessness a family member can feel when she cannot help their loved one recover from feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and constant anxiety about tomorrow. The caretaker, unconsciously begins to do extra, to compensate for the person suffering from depression and soon finds  his/ her life revolving around a depressed person, can become frustrating. If the situation is prolonged without change, or worsens, it leads to building resentment. Some family members, particularly children, may feel guilty as their loved one escalate down deeper into depression. A person is liable to begin blaming himself for his loved one's sadness and dissatisfaction. A child especially might wonder what he has done wrong to cause the depression. When attempts to cheer the depressed person up or help her out don't seem to improve the situation, the family member can feel even worse for letting his depressed loved one down and not helping.
 Interestingly, families can be major forces of care, comfort, even cure. They are crucial to proper discovery and treatment of the disorder, not just at the beginning but throughout. They are the primary factor that the depressed individual gets convinced that hopelessness is temporary and will come to an end. They contribute powerfully to the emotional atmosphere the depressed person occupies, and so can be a means to a matter. Bottom of FormMoreover, The National Institute of Mental Health has done extensive research and has proved that depression has a huge impact on families. And families have a huge impact on depression. Nassir Ghaemi, assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard, contends it's not even desirable to make the correct diagnosis of depression without the family. For one thing, many people, particularly those at either end of the age spectrum and those with medical conditions, don't realize they are depressed or may attribute symptoms to other things. The perspective of family members is useful, but it's downright essential for prescribing. "To treat any depression accurately, you have to know whether it is unipolar or bipolar—in other words, whether the person has been manic in the past," says Ghaemi. "Our research shows that 50 percent of patients are not even aware they are manic when experiencing mania. Family members recognize manic symptoms twice as often."
Professionally, at my practice I find, family support to play major role in the lives of those suffering from depression. A close support system makes all the difference in overcoming the symptoms and finding hope and the physiological need to be happy. It’s rather imperative, that family members be supportive of the psychological and medical treatment and recognize, the value of the work. There comes a time when the only thing a family can do is simply accepts the changes that have taken place in a depressed person, for better or for worse. The rupture in the family defeated by depression may be permanent however, if the family accepts and supports their loved one, the chance of the recovering, from depression will improve dramatically. "The greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being."Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

10 Ways to have a Happy Home!! by: Sherry S. Nafeh, M.A.

A home is our sanctuary; it is our refuge from the mysterious outside world that we all leave in. Home is where we go to feel safe and be ourselves. It is where; we should feel the most safety for ourselves & our loved ones. It’s been said that “home” is where the heart is ", and the heart thrives in a “Happy Home”.  One might ask. So what do you mean by a happy home? A happy home is where couples come together and make a choice. Having made that choice, they accept the responsibility for the way things are "good or "not so good." and suddenly have the means to make a change. Here is 10 important aspects to transform & maintain a happy family home “Sherry Style. Enjoy!!

1. " Relationship takes Precedence”

Researchers who study family behavior agree that a strong bond between parents is the heart of a happy family. As sex therapist Laura Berman, Ph.D., puts it in her couples' guide, The Book of Love,"No matter how sacrilegious it sounds...you need to put your relationship before your children. A strong relationship provides security for your children and demonstrates how a loving, respectful partnership should be. What could be more important?"Acknowledge one another, knowing that nothing or no one could be more important.  

2. Continue to Date

Continuing to date each other will help keep the spark in your marriage. It takes a little planning and prioritizing but the results are worth it. You don't have to spend much money to have a fun date, but can easily find something enjoyable to do together. The point of this time is to rekindle, the love and remembering why? and how you fell in love.

3. "Same Page" Motto

I believe that in order for families to feel connected, their needs to be clearance. Please, I am not delirious and know there are times that one person may disagree with another person. What does that look like in your home? Is it okay that everyone agrees to disagree, or is a disagreement not tolerable. Virginia Satir whom is known to be "The Mother of Family System Therapy, said "Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible - the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family."

4. Touching Base

 In this busy world, that a 24 hrs day, is still too short to get things done (No app for that yet), touching base it's important. I don't mean the ordinary "how was your day" question, but rather to take few moments and listen if my partner or child had a good day or not. Ask how you can be there for them. In other words, Research shows that having a person listen to you, even if you don't say one word can be very therapeutic. A good way to do this is to go around the dinner table and talk about your highs and lows of the day(my personal favorite).

5. Family Meals

Family mealtime is much more than something good to eat! It nourishes the body, mind, and soul. Most of us, correlate best family memories with special meals and times together around the table. Frequent family meals are associated with a lower risk of smoking, drinking and using drugs; with a lower incidence of depressive symptoms and suicidal thoughts; and with better grades in 11 to 18 year olds. (Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine, 2004).

6. Scheduled Fun Times

Our days have become so busy, that yes, the normal daily or weekly routines that should come naturally need to be scheduled. Moreover, one doesn't need to go beyond his or her way to have fun. Having fun could be as simple as, movie night with your family, or sharing a glass of wine with your partner after a long day. Philip Cowan, (Professor of Psychology Emeritus and Professor of the Graduate School at the University of California, Berkeley) says that "The trick is to make the most out of being together and create bubbles of intimacy throughout the day."

7. Being Present

I can’t claim to be perfect at being present. I can’t claim that I do it all the time. Being present takes a certain consciousness that we don't naturally acquire, and one needs to become conscious of it before shifting.  How often are you driving while talking on a cell phone, or thinking about work problems, or the errands you have to do? How often do you eat without thinking about the food you’re eating? How often, are you writing a mental check list while your child is trying to explain something? How often do you stop at what you’re doing, and start to worry about tomorrow or next week? Geneen Roth the Author of "Woman, Food, and God" described it in such a magnificent way." You begin the process of bringing yourself back to your body, to your belly, to your breath because they -- not the mind medleys -- are here now. And it is only here, only now that you can make a decision to eat(be) or not eat(be). One needs to occupy their own body or to vacate your arms and your legs while still breathing and go through your days as a walking head. If you’re not at least partly present all the above, will be difficult to do.

8. Affection

Affection is the expression of care. It symbolizes security, protection, comfort and approval -- vital ingredients in any relationship. When one spouse is affectionate toward the other, the following messages are sent:

1. You are important to me. I will care for you and protect you.
2.  I'm concerned about the problems you face and will be there for you when you need me.

An effortless hug can say those things. And there are many other ways to show our affection: A greeting card or an "I love you" note; a bouquet of flowers; holding hands; quick phone call, text massages, can effectively communicate affection.

 Affection is, for many, the necessary glue of a relationship. Without it, many feel totally alienated. With it, they become emotionally bonded. If you feel terrific when your spouse is affectionate, and you feel terrible when there is not enough of it, you have the emotional need for affection.

9. Laugh

A sense of humor can help a tremendously and by this I mean the ability to laugh at yourself   & your families mistakes, and move on.

10. Love yourself

“No matter what age you are, or what your circumstances might be, you are special, and you still have something unique to offer. Your life, because of who you are, has meaning.”Barbara Angelis   

Throughout the years, we have heard that in order to love fully, one must love themselves first and that quantity of love will leak in to those whom surround you. It is very important to remember that, no one is perfect and that if you look deep within yourself, you will see that you have many good qualities that you choose to overlook. Look innate, and remind yourselves, what good qualities you admire about yourselves. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Parents should also model the kind of behavior they want their children to emulate. For example, if parents wants the child to have a high self confidence and self esteem, then parents should, model how a child can take care of themselves, physically and mentally and encourage them by showing them that “Love always emerges from within one’s Soul. “me”

Giving Thanks!!!!!

GIVING THANKS

"As the leaves on the trees begin to turn beautiful colors of orange, red, and yellow, I sit here and reflect, and realize how thankful I am for the gift of family & great friendships and for memories of times past."  It is once again, end of November and the beginning of Holidays. Although, holidays, should signify, a time of sharing, and creating new memories with our loved ones, it can be a daunting experience for some. During, this time that our economy is not at, it’s best, some families, struggle to find a reason to be thankful for. Many, who have been unemployed, or work hard to survive,  have a hard time being thankful for anything. Here are a few reasons to be Thankful, even in hard times.

#1)    while it seems pretty obvious that gratitude is a positive emotion, psychologists for decades rarely delved into the science of giving thanks, but in the last several years they have, learning in many experiments that it is one of humanity's most powerful emotions. It makes you happier and can change your attitude about life, like an emotional reset button. Especially in hard times, like these (Huffpost healthy Living, Nov, 2011).

#2) A gratitude journal can help organize, your thoughts and feelings, about what’s important. We live, everyday not realizing, what we have to be grateful for. By acknowledging what you are grateful for in your journal, you'll form a conscious pull, of positive energy. "Did you know that appreciation, gratitude and love are the highest forms of vibration?"(Oprah Magzine, 2011).  "You can only have one vibration at a time, and if you are noticing what you appreciate and noticing what you are grateful for, you can't be noticing what you don't like."As more of your thoughts and words become positive, you'll start attracting more positive people and circumstances. “As one grows older & wiser it has the “chance to put your relationships through a strainer, and decide today that you are going to reduce negativity in your life by getting rid of the 'don'ts,' 'not’s and 'no's'—the negative people, the negative thoughts," MS. "Get in the habit of appreciating things."

#3)  I have learned that it is truly in giving that we receive, and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing. It is, indeed a part of ourselves that we choose to share, with people whom we care about and want to keep in our life. We long for the affection of others. One of the measures of how we are managing from day to day is the way others feel about us. We care when our friends are fine and we worry when they are not. In order to communicate that we care, we often have to actually do something, to take action. There are so many wonderful ways to express our warm feelings and show appreciation toward others. By giving and sharing and serving, we can create and maintain those meaningful personal relationships we have with our family & friends.

#4) Psychological tests prove that when you are smiling you feel better. You are giving happiness to others when they see you happy. Smiles are infectious. So, smile!

Have A Wonderful Thanksgiving!!!!!